Same Sex Relationships

Dear River,

I wanted to see what your thoughts on same-sex relationships were? Why do you think that girls are sometimes attracted to other girls even if they have never been before? I’d really appreciate it if you could get back to me

Thank you so much,

Just Curious

Dear Just Curious,

When it comes to sexuality in our culture we have these boxes- gay, straight, bisexual. In reality we can be attracted to people for a number of reason that has little to do with labels. Most people have the capacity to be attracted to their own gender and there is nothing wrong with this. It can go from just appreciating the female body to wanting to engage in sexual activity to exclusively being in a relation with the same gender. Another though is that Sometimes, especially with women, we have such close relationships, that often we have the same feeling towards "friends" that we might have in a love relationship. We fall in love with each other and it may have nothing to do with wanting to have sex. We just want to be close and intimate. It can be confusing especially when our culture has such strong feelings about same gender relationships.

I would suggest to anyone dealing with these feelings that they sit down with non-judgmental professional (therapist, counselor) and sort through the feelings. I am a strong believer in getting help from a professional when I’m confused. It does not mean there is a thing "wrong" with me. I just need to have a different perspective.

I wish you the best!

River