Not Interested In Sex

DEAR RIVER,

I'm an 18-year old girl (virgin) and have little interest in sex. My friends are always slobbering about how so and so is hot. But I never have fantasies about guys I know. I never really have major crushes on boys or girls or what have you. I get pissed when all people talk about is sex, not because I'm not getting any but because the idea bores me. I masturbate because it feels nice, but I feel no desire to have sex, in fact it kind of grosses me out. I don't look at guys lustfully all that often- I think more along the lines of 'good friend' material. I know I'm not gay (have never felt any pull towards girls), but I think something must be wrong with me if I'm not falling head over heels in love/lust with guys at my age. Science says I should be some kind of uncontrollable sexaholic at this age, but I'm not. If it makes any difference, I started puberty very early (9), so maybe I went through that phase at 13 or something and didn't even notice it.

If you have any kind of explanation to offer, please do so!

Sincerely,

Not Interested

Dear Not interested

You are perfectly normal. I don't know all the background on your life and experiences but from what you said you are not alone. If you enjoy masturbation and can be aroused then there is nothing physical going on and as far as having sex with someone or being interested in having sex with someone, that will happen when it happens, if it happens.

We all have different levels of hormones in us and emotionally many women just are not as interested as others in physical, intimate relationships. Have compassion for your sex-crazed friends, just know that’s their thing, not yours and how you feel is perfectly fine. If it becomes an issue that it really bothers you I would go to the counseling center, it’s free. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you it just will give you a confidential outlet to talk about things that bug you.

I wish you the very best,

River