Sex Messages From Ohio

Here are the text messages from Ohio. The answers will be available in an e-book called SEXED in March. In the meantime I will answer a question each day (sometimes one a week depends on travel!). If you need an urgent answer send me an e-mail with you question.

Can you get pregnant if someone cums in your ass

What made you change your life around after that? Was it religious or you got tired of feeling bad for yourself?

what if my penis is too small?

Is there a training camp that men can go to to get better at eating a girl out?

is aids terminal or is there a treatment?

how do you tell your boyfriend your prego?

how do you get over sexual feelings with your ex?

Whats your favorite sex position?

What should you do if you accidentally call your new boyfriend your ex's name during sex?

How do u learn to be with someone after being in an abusive relationship where all trust is gone?

Is it cheating if your girlfriend likes to munch rug on the side

How do you cope with your new bf having such a small dick

What can you do if she hurts most of the times we do it.

does serrain wrap work as a condom??

why does my gf only cum during oral not intercourse?

Can u get a girl pregnant by ejaculating in her anus?

Do vibrating cock rings enhance sexual intercourse?

Can u get a girl pregnant by ejaculating on ur finger and then fingering her?

Advice On Losing Your Virginity

Here are the text messages from Ohio. The answers will be available in an e-book called SEXED in March. In the meantime I will answer a question each day (sometimes one a week depends on travel!). If you need an urgent answer send me an e-mail with you question.

My girlfriend is a virgin and I was wondering what was the best way/easiest way for her to enjoy it.

I can give you some suggestions but it is also important to talk with your girlfriend about how she feels about doing any of them. I am glad you are asking this question because out of all the people she will ever sleep with you you will probably be the most memorable, good or bad. No pressure!

Anyway the best thing to do is be certain she really wants to do this and once that certainty is established. You might want to start slow not go all the way the first time. You can perform oral sex, use you fingers with lubricant to start to stretch hymen. For some women the hymen may have already been broken through a number of means such as using a tampon, hand to genital contact, ext. If the hymen is already broken then it may be a little easier. For each person it is different. For some it is a painful experience and for other not so much. But most of the time both partners are feeling anxious. So try to do something to relax, give her a full body massage, take a bath together, get comfortable being naked with one another. Let her know how much you care and how beautiful she is especially her body. Many women are very self conscious about being naked.

As you do things for her try to talk with her about what feels good. If she is not too responsive to this because she is embarrassed to talk about sex then try to read her physical cues. Actual intercourse is the last part of the program. Once you get to that point go slow, use lubricant and stay present. Her vagina will probably be very tight so just put the tip in first, and go slow from there (unless she requests differently).

Afterwards there might be some emotions. Just stay present. If there are tears, don't press her to talk about it just hold her, tell her you are there for her. I am not saying this will happen but for many women it is really big moment in their life and it can cause an emotional release.

If she is uncertain about how she might be feel physically after let her know that sometimes there is burning and tenderness especially when she urinates. This is totally normal. There might be some blood and that is also normal.

Good Luck

River

I’ve never had an orgasm. Can you give me some good tips?

It may be a good idea to spend some time alone with yourself to figure out what gets you excited. When you masturbate there is a lot less pressure to “perform” Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed and explore.



First step is find your clitoris for most women this is the key to orgasm. It is a marble shaped organ right above the lips of your vagina. (See diagram of the vulva) when stimulated it becomes engorged with blood and rather hard. When you reach orgasm it softens.



A vibrator is a wonderful sexual aid in reaching orgasm but if you don’t have one, or are not ready, there are many ways to masturbate from touching with your fingers, to using a removable shower head and putting a direct spray of water on the clitoris, or rubbing your clitoris against a blanket or pillow.



If you do not feel you are able to masturbation and want to reach an orgasm with a partner, communication is key. You need to talk about what it is you like, how you like it, and be able to guide someone when they are doing something that does not work. You can do this is a gentle; supportive way by showing them which can be erotic for them as well. At first the goal should be exploration, not climax.



Foreplay is extremely important for women to reach orgasm, and not just physical foreplay but emotional foreplay. Having a person attentive to your emotional needs can help you relax and that is what is all about. An orgasm's not going to be happening if you have your mind on something else-bills, is my ass too fat, and is that the baby crying? Or the orgasm itself "Is this it? Am I doing it right?"

Try to be in the moment enjoy the physical sensations and do not try for an orgasm just let it happen. It might take a few attempts but the more relaxed you get with your body and yourself, the easier it will be. 



There are other reason you might not be able to reach orgasm and they are rare, but real-diabetes, hormonal imbalance, arthritis. 

Talk to your doctor about this. Just be aware that sometimes doctors are very dismissive when it comes to sexual issues and do not see it as a possible medical condition. If they say something like, "Keep working at it!" Don't be discouraged. This is when you need a thick skin and say, "I would like to know if there are some physical possibilities and be tested for them."



More common are also emotional and mental blocks to orgasm including, rape, molestation, assault and incest. These issues are real and need to be addressed with a professional if you feel they are standing in your way to being able to relax during sex and reach climax.